Uproxx
Happy Valentine’s Day! You’re prepping for sex — so time is of the essence! Do you want the good news or the bad?
The bad news is that no particular weed strain is categorically superior for sex. The good? All weed strains can be great for sex! Whether a cultivar is suited for sex (or not) depends on the makeup of your endocannabinoid system, your body, brain, emotional landscape, mood, partner(s), and pretty much every other internal and external detail of the two or more people engaging in the sex at hand. It’s… complicated, is the point.
Now some good news — the cannabinoid THC is a vasodilator, meaning it expands capillaries (blood vessels), thus allowing for more blood flow, and enhanced sensation. Not only does our beloved plant physically make things feel better, but there’s also the mental relaxation aspect, which can help ease the anxieties and insecurities that sometimes accompany getting it on, especially with new partners. A few things I avoid when picking a sex strain are extremely zingy and energizing terpene profiles (heavy on terpinolene and limonene), and strains with astronomical THC percentages. Weed should never have a THC percentage much over 30%. When THC percentages are too high, there is no room left in the mass of the nug for other chemical compounds like CBD, which balance the anxiety and paranoia caused by overconsuming unchecked THC.
Then again, some people might view being blasted into outer space on a rocket made of THC molecules as foreplay! To each their own and all that.
Anyway, as a professional stoner with a super hot husband, I’ve done a ton of field research in this area. Here are some sexy strains to enhance the physical aspect of this ice-cold day of love, and enjoy it to absolute the fullest.
Candied Grapefruit by Sol Spirit Farm
Sol Spirit Farm
This Candied Grapefruit by Sol Spirit, an award-winning regenerative farm and cannabis glamping outfit in the Emerald Triangle, has a sparkly, relaxing high that is great for social interaction and the subsequent physical action.
Bright green nugs are punctuated by hues of purple and blue with deep red hairs. The smell is sweet, tart, and in a word, yummy. As is the flavor, which mirrors the intense smell of grapefruit and flowers perfectly in its taste.
This flower is so resinous and terp-y that it leaves a grapefruit coating of flavor in your mouth after the exhale, like enjoying a grapefruit brulee. Initially exciting and uplifting, the high is a hyper-sensory experience with a heavily relaxing body high that releases inhibition.
Bottom line:
View your partner through the rose-tinted glasses of this sweet strain.
Buy it here:
$35 per 1/8th
Hedonia by The Bohemian Chemist
Bohemian Chemist
Hedonia is spicy, mysterious, and unique. Part of the Bohemian Chemist’s Spiritus Mundi box, a collection of strains and prerolls with rare combinations of minor cannabinoids, Hedonia features a 5:1:1 ratio of THC: THCV: CBG. This means her high is balanced, and provides a different array of pleasurable and healing properties than the THC-heavy flower you’re probably used to consuming.
This strain feels like a cosmic hug. It’s deeply relaxing, both mentally and physically, and because it doesn’t have much THC, it’s a great choice for newer users or those prone to freakouts. This balanced profile also makes it great for intimacy, as you feel confident and at ease, transported to a heightened state of mental and physical bliss.
Bottom line:
With no chance of freakouts and a sexy body high, this strain is perfect for the bedroom.
Buy it here:
$30 per 1/8th
Velvet La Flor by Sunroots Farm
Sun Roots Farm
Velvet La Flor is a sumptuous new cultivar by Sun Roots Farm, a forest of giant purple weed plants in Mendocino, and by far one of the most magical places I’ve ever been.
All of their flower is spiritual medicine. It brings you an easy sense of joy and calm that is hard to find in the current offerings at most dispensaries. While most flower these days sends new users into anxiety spirals, Velvet La Flor is here to do the opposite.
Sunroots Farm
As you can see, these nugs are violet, dark purple, blue, and green. The deep purple hues signal this flower is high in anthocyanin, the same free-radical fighting, anti-inflammatory compounds that make Okinawa sweet potatoes so healthy. The smell is a complex, gorgeous blend of lavender, cedar, rose, and eucalyptus. The high is flirty and giggly, leaving you feeling soft and at ease.
Bottom line:
Velvet La Flor is romance in flower form.
Buy it here:
Price varies
Carmel Apple Romulan by Northern Emeralds
Northern Emeralds
Carmel Apple Romulan by Northern Emeralds is gassy, sassy, and fucking gorgeous. The smell alone gives me the chills!
Everything about this flower is dazzling. Her bud structure is like a crystalline castle with light green buds and red hairs. The gassy, fruity, and floral smell and flavor hit hard behind the eyes. Smoking this flower is like cresting the top of a roller coaster. Once the high hits, you free-fall into bliss.
This particularly potent high is deeply relaxing, as well as upbeat and social, making it a great choice for casual to frequent users looking to enjoy each other in more ways than one.
Bottom Line:
Perfect for seasoned stoner sex.
Buy it here:
$55
FKAFL (formerly French Laundry) by Maven Genetics
Maven Genetics
Last but not least, we have one of the hottest and most notorious strains on the market, FKAFL, or Formerly Known As French Laundry, by LA’s hometown heroes Maven Genetics.
This cross between The Soap and La Rouge is so stunning it has caught the attention of world-class cannabis competitions and pissed off Michelin-starred restaurants alike.
This decadent, well-balanced flower is green, violet, and orange with an opalescent sheen due to its plethora of crystal trichomes. Notes of citrus, earth, cream, and cheese make this flower more delicious than the restaurant it shares a name with. After an incredible amount of buzz in the cannabis competition circuit, the strain earned Maven a cease-and-desist from the Napa Valley restaurant, prompting them to cheekily change it to FKAFL.
Despite the legal jumbo, this stellar flower is available under the new name and is perfect for the love interest in your life who values the best of the best when it comes to quality and the highest of the highest when it comes to potency. The cool thing about this flower is that despite its astronomical percentages, the experience is super chill, perfectly balanced, and downright sexy.
Bottom Line:
A high worth fighting–and fucking–for.
Buy it here:
$45
